{"id":28668,"date":"2014-12-23T16:43:38","date_gmt":"2014-12-23T21:43:38","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.thedailygouge.com\/?p=28668"},"modified":"2014-12-23T16:43:44","modified_gmt":"2014-12-23T21:43:44","slug":"the-daily-gouge-archive-monday-december-22nd-2014","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.thedailygouge.com\/?p=28668","title":{"rendered":"The Daily Gouge Archive, Monday, December 22nd, 2014"},"content":{"rendered":"

It’s Monday, December 22nd, 2014…and here’s The Gouge!<\/strong><\/p>\n

First up, in the spirit of the season,\u00a0<\/strong>Hope ‘n Change<\/em>\u00a0details the Devil in his latest guise:<\/strong><\/p>\n

Barry Mitsvah<\/span><\/h1>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"Barack<\/a><\/p>\n

In yet the latest surprising revelation about America’s first half-black Irish Native-American Indo-Hawaiian Islamo-Christian president, Barack Obama has announced that he is also Jewish<\/i>.<\/p>\n

At the annual White House Hanukkah reception, the schlemiel-in-chief was greeting guests with a festive “Torah, Torah, Torah!”<\/i><\/strong><\/span> when he was approached by a reveler who quoted a friend as saying, “I didn’t know the president was Jewish!”\u00a0After a short, gagging pause to wash down a mouthful of Matzoh with a nice not-too-expensive Mogen David wine, Obama replied “I am, in my soul.”<\/p>\n

The president then addressed the party attendees, carefully avoiding stereotypes by praising lox and latkes (“Not as good as your mom\u2019s<\/i>,” he whined with a Borscht-belt accent, “but they’re good”) before saying, “I can\u2019t think of a better way to mark this holiday, with its message that freedom is possible, than with the historic changes that I announced today in our Cuba policy<\/i>.”\u00a0Because what says Hanukkah more than embracing an oppressive regime, right<\/span><\/em>?<\/strong><\/span> Not that Hope n’ Change<\/i> isn’t anxious to see how the Castro brothers look sporting the new yarmulkes Mr. Obama gifted them with.<\/p>\n

The nation’s first Jewish president then concluded his holiday remarks by asking everyone to raise their glasses to join him for a traditional Yiddish toast.\u00a0“Molotov!” <\/i>he said, then made a wish and blew out the candles on the Menorah.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

\"HanukkwanzaaSm\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Hells bells; heretofore,<\/span><\/i>\u00a0disagreeing with The Obamao was racist; but with his conversion to Judaism, we’re all gonna be…<\/b><\/p>\n