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It’s Friday, November 17th, 2017…but before we begin, as related by FOX News

Papa John’s issues Twitter apology for ‘divisive’ NFL, anthem remarks


Even if the neo-Nazis provided the only possible solution to the players’ problems?!?  Not that the the problems they’re promoting actually exist…at least in the world outside of Progressive identity politics!  Regardless, we’ve eaten our last Papa John’s product.

Meanwhile, the WSJ informs us Goodell’s taken the first step towards forcing the sale of the Cowboys…

NFL Accuses Cowboys Owner Jerry Jones of Damaging the League


…effectively declaring war on Jerry Jones.  And our money’s on Jerry.

By the way, if he’s never seen it, Al Franken, the most unfunny comedian in history (he’s the reason we fast-forward through the train scene in Trading Places!) should watch Magnum Force.  ‘Cuz unless we miss our guess, he’s about…

…to join Sweet.  For those not up on their Dirty Harry dialogue, Sweet was sacrificed.

Now, here’s The Gouge!

First up in the last edition of the week, as FOX News reports, you can tell we’re living Orwell’s 1984 when…

Clinton calls Uranium One story a ‘distraction,’ warns of dictatorship


Hillary Clinton on Wednesday slammed what she described as the “politicization of the Justice Department” after reports that the Trump administration was considering a special counsel to probe the Uranium One deal and alleged conflicts with the Clinton Foundation.

...in an interview with Mother Jones, Clinton claimed that the Uranium One story has been “debunked” a number of times (By who: Eric Holder…Loretta Lynch…Jim Comey…MSDNC?!?) and that the Trump administration was merely using the story as a distraction.

“And if they send a signal that we’re going to be like some dictatorship, some authoritarian regimen where political opponents are going to be unfairly, fraudulently investigated — that rips at the fabric of the contract we have that we can trust our justice system,” she said…”

What the worst liar in the history of modern Politics didn’t address

…was whether completely corrupt politicians…opponents or not…should be the subject of fair, legitimate investigations conducted in the interest of justice and equality under the law.

We must confess the contention a sitting Secretary of State granting approval to the sale of some 20% of America’s uranium stockpiles, a transaction requiring her specific approval, in exchange for clear cash consideration provided her husband and a foundation in which she had an ongoing interest, somehow doesn’t constitute a crime under U.S. law is utterly incomprehensible.

But then, we’ve never required clarification as to what the meaning of “is” is.

Next up, as FOX News details, Progressive relaxation of the nation’s border security has claimed another victim:

Illegal immigrant charged in 2015 murder of New York socialite


“…Mexican authorities located Mr. Gomez, and we brought him back to Westchester County,” FBI Special Agent in Charge Michael McGarrity said, according to ABC7.This case illustrates how we are able to reach beyond our borders to find criminals who believe they can elude arrest…”

We’re gonna go out on limb and suggest, if we simply secured our borders, we wouldn’t need to reach beyond them to find criminal illegals like Gomez who believe they can elude arrest.  Just sayin’.

In other news of note, FOX also records how…

UN diplomat falls to death from balcony in New York after ‘trust game’


“…Simpson, his wife and some friends went up to the rooftop of a Lower East Side hotel when they arrived back to enjoy the views of the city.

Simpson then climbed to a higher part of the rooftop and began swinging a female friend around. The woman’s husband confronted Simpson over his behavior and, to prove that the husband could trust him, he suggested playing a “trust game” in which Simpson would lean over the ledge and his friend would stop him from falling.

The man told investigators that he put his arm out to catch Simpson but he slipped and fell to his death.

Everyone who police interviewed admitting [admitted?] drinking alcohol before the game, and authorities reported a strong odor of booze on those involved…”

It’s either the alcohol talking or Darwinism in action when a guy, immediately after being confronted by the husband of a woman with whom he was just flirting, asks said husband to catch him as he drops from the roof of an apartment building.

The unfortunate Mr. Simpson obviously heeded Dean Wormer’s sage advice to Flounder in one respect:

As his photo above records, he certainly wasn’t fat.

Speaking of the abjectly stupid, as The Washington Free Beacon tells us, a recent…

Boston Globe Piece Calls for the Confiscation of Millions of Guns: ‘There’s No Way Around It


“…you damn dirty ape! And THEN, only after I’ve run out of ammo.”

“The Boston Globe’s David Scharfenberg published an “ideas” piece on Friday in response to the recent Texas mass shooting in which he espoused a self-described “radical,” “sweeping” policy change to curb gun violence in the United States.

Hand Over Your Weapons,” Scharfenberg wrote, arguing that less drastic measures proposed by Democrats and gun-control advocates are too “limited.”

Trouble is, it’s not clear the “something” Democrats typically demand would make a real dent in the nation’s epidemic of gun violence. Congress can ban assault weapons, but they account for just a tiny sliver of the country’s 33,000 annual firearm deaths. And tighter background checks will do nothing to cut down on the 310 million guns already in circulation.

In other words, the proposals aren’t just difficult to enact in the current political climate; their practical effects would also be quite limited. On occasion, though, leading Democrats will make oblique reference to a more sweeping policy change: seizing a huge number of weapons from law-abiding citizens.

The piece went on to say cite previous comments from Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton (Liar!), who spoke positively about the Australian gun buyback program. The program collected more than 650,000 weapons following the 1996 Port Arthur massacre where 35 people were killed by Martin Bryan, a “deranged” Australian man with a semi-automatic rifle. Former President Barack Obama also praised the confiscatory approach when he cited the Australian gun buyback model during a speech in 2015. (Liar!)

Scharfenberg went on to argue that the logic of gun control ultimately lies in “substantially reducing the number of deadly weapons on the street,” and that confiscation is “far and away the most effective approach.

Scharfenberg goes on to make a number of other arguments in favor of outright confiscation, as well as drawing numerous comparisons between Australia and America, yet only mentions the 2nd Amendment once.

Which just goes to prove, in some cases, there are points…

“…you damn dirty ape!”

…for 2nd place!

Since we’re on the subject of gun control, as this recent item from The Daily Caller via Bill Meisen notes…

Obama Rarely Prosecuted Criminals Who Sought To Buy Guns Illegally


More than 100,000 convicted felons or other “prohibited persons” tried to buy guns each year during President Barack Obama’s administration by lying on their applications, but the Justice Department only considered prosecuting about 30 to 40 people each year, according to a Daily Caller News Foundation investigation.

The Obama administration may have publicly aligned itself with anti-gun activists, but it consistently turned a blind eye to prosecute known criminals who tried to buy guns.

A June 2016 (keep in mind, Obama was still President and Loretta Lynch still the Attorney General) Justice Department Inspector General’s report revealed that between 2008 and 2015 the U.S. Attorneys office considered prosecuting “less than 32 people per year” for lying on form 4473, the federal application to buy guns.

Surprisingly, the Obama administration’s harshest critics are gun manufacturers themselves. “People could do what is called, ‘lie and buy,’” explained Lawrence Keane, a senior vice president of the National Shooting Sports Foundation, a nonprofit organization that represents gun manufacturers. But very infrequently is anyone ever prosecuted. What’s the point of making it a crime if you don’t enforce it?” he asked in an interview with TheDCNF…”

Possibly because keeping guns out of the hands of criminals isn’t their goal?!?

Continuing our theme of rare moments of Progressive policy candor, in today’s edition of the Environmental Moment, Governor Moonbeam offers up another mammoth bit of truth in advertising:

The World needs ‘brain washing’ on climate change, Jerry Brown says at Vatican


“Gov. Jerry Brown challenged the world’s religious leaders to further engage as he minimized the negative effects of President Donald Trump on meeting the climate-change challenge.

“The Trump factor is very small, very small indeed,” in comparison to the commitments taking place around the world, Brown said to a burst of applause Saturday at an event organized by the Vatican’s Pontifical Academy of Sciences. “That’s nothing to cheer about, because if it was only Trump that was a problem, we’d have it solved. But that’s not our only problem.

“The problemis us. It’s our whole way of life. It’s our comfort…It’s the greed. It’s the indulgence. It’s the pattern. And it’s the inertia.”

…Brown acknowledged that achieving transformation will not be easy, citing his recent visit to the Eastern Economic Forum in Russia, where world leaders gathered for discussions about trade with scant mention of climate effects.

“At the highest circles, people still don’t get it,” he said. “It’s not just a light rinse” that’s required. We need a total, I might say ‘brain washing.’…”

For more on the need for brainwashing masquerading as religion, in a related item from Drudge, the…

Pope rebukes climate deniers as ‘perverse’ in Bonn message


Pope Francis on Thursday rebuked those who deny the science behind global warming and urged negotiators at climate talks in Germany to avoid falling prey to such “perverse attitudes” and instead accelerate efforts to curb greenhouse gas emissions.

…In his landmark 2015 environmental encyclical, Francis said global warming is “mainly” due to human activity and he called for fossil fuels to be progressively phased out without delay.

In his message, the Argentine pope denounced that efforts to combat climate change are often frustrated by those who deny the science behind it or are indifferent to it, those who are resigned to it or think it can be solved by technical solutions, which he termed “inadequate.”We must avoid falling into these four perverse attitudes, which certainly don’t help honest research and sincere, productive dialogue,” he said.”

We say…

Which brings us, appropriately enough, to The Lighter Side

Finally, we’ll call it a week with another sordid story straight from the pages of The Crime Blotter, with this just in from Okiehoma:

A mother married her son and then her daughter, who just pleaded guilty to incest, officials say

And here we thought West Virginia had pretty much cornered the market on this type of activity.  Winner, winner, inbred dinner.