It’s Friday, March 10th, 2017…and here’s wishing a very Happy Birthday to our oldest brother Tim!

Every now and then, the pace of life gets to us, and we find ourselves drained come the end of a busy week; that…and the fact we played golf earlier today and we’re frankly bushed.  Consequently, we’re going to dispense with the usual formalities and go with a less demanding and light-hearted version of The Gouge we trust you’ll still find entertaining!

First up, courtesy of long-time contributor Jeff Foutch, we offer this anthology of especially enduring excerpts…along with what we deem appropriate illustrations!

Great Truths

1. “In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man  is a shame, two is a law firm, And three or more is a congress.“ – John Adams

2. “If you don’t read the newspaper you are uninformed; if you do read the newspaper you are  misinformed.” – Mark Twain

3. “Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But then I repeat myself.” – Mark Twain

4. “I contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle.” – Winston Churchill

5. “A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on  the support of Paul.” – George Bernard Shaw

6. “A liberal is someone who feels a great debt to his fellow man, which debt he proposes to pay off with your money.” – G. Gordon Liddy

7. “Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.“ – P.J. O’Rourke

8. “Government’s view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: if it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it.“ – Ronaldus Rex

9. “I don’t make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.” – Will Rogers

10. “If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it’s free!” – P.J. O’Rourke

11. “No man’s life, liberty, or property is safe while the Legislature is in session.” – Mark Twain  

12. “Talk is cheap, except when Congress does it.” – Anonymous

13. “The inherent vice of Capitalism is the unequal sharing of the blessings. The inherent blessing of Socialism is the equal sharing of misery.” – Winston Churchill  

14. “The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin.“ – Mark Twain

15. “There is no distinctly native American criminal class, save Congress.” – Mark Twain  

16. “What this country needs are more unemployed politicians.” – Edward Langley

17. “A government big enough to give you everything you want is strong enough to take everything you have.” – Thomas Jefferson

18. “You cannot legislate the poor into freedom by legislating the industrious out of it. You don’t multiply wealth by dividing it. Government cannot give anything to anybody that it doesn’t first take from somebody else. Whenever somebody receives something without working for it, somebody else has to work for it without receiving. The worst thing that can happen to a nation is for half of the people to get the idea they don’t have to work because somebody else will work for them, and the other half to get the idea that it does no good to work because they don’t get to enjoy the fruits of their labor.” – Adrian Rogers (probably quoting another party)

Which brings us to The Lighter Side…

Then, in no particular order, we offer these keepers from Larry Hoffman…

…and finally, this classic from James Patrick Crilley:

Which reminds us of the observation our good friend Anthony Walton had on the occasion of the recent Day Without a Woman: “Can they make it another 364?”

Enjoy your weekend!

Magoo