It’s Wednesday, August 28th, 2019…but before we begin, like a leviathan rising from the depths to feed…

…CNN‘s April Ryan has finally surfaced to explain away her bodyguard’s assault on a credentialed reporter at a New Jersey speaking engagement:

 “This is not about suppressing the press. And, no, I did not order anyone to do anything…They were about 100 feet away from me. I didn’t know what was going on or what was said.

 “This was a private event for a non-profit organization in New Brunswick, New Jersey. Our contract stated that if someone wanted to come and filmthey had to ask for permission,” she said.

There was no request for permission and permission was not granted. Now, if they would have asked for permission, it would have been granted (Sooo…if any request for permission to film would have been granted, why require requests for permission at all?!?)  and the reason why I do this…it’s standard in the industry…[and] because I don’t want my words twisted.”

Stelter (In a rare display of possessing even the most rudimentary sense of journalism!) followed up on Kratovli’s claim that he had proper permission, but Ryan remained adamant and firm. According to my contract and with the organization, no one asked me for permission,” she replied. (So now, her contract included requests for permission; like when…before or after it was signed?!?)

When asked if she regretted the actions of her former bodyguard, Ryan dodged the question and said Morris was simply “concerned” for “her safety.” She also claimed the death threats she’s received may have affected her former bodyguard’s response…”

Ryan’s responses are vague and frankly quite conflicting: after all, how can one assert demanding journalists obtain permission to film a speech isn’t about suppressing the press?!?

As for Ryan’s claim death threats she’s (purportedly) received may have affected her bodyguard’s response, were such supposed threats serious, who on earth would volunteer to take a bullet or a bomb for the likes…or girth…of April Ryan for any amount of money?!?  

Now, here’s The Gouge!

We lead off today’s edition with, in honor of the great Thomas Sowell, several Random Thoughts on the Passing Scene.

Thought #1: We just ain’t buyin’ the conclusion Jeffrey Epstein died by his own hand…unless a representative of the Clintons’ hands on top of his somehow constitutes suicide.  Forgetting for the moment the incredibly questionable circumstances surrounding Epstein’s demise (both guards asleep, his mandatory cellmate transferred, his rapid release from suicide watch, the absence of a surveillance camera in his cell…and now, the video from the surveillance camera outside his cell is reportedly unusable), here’s the juice:

The sister of a neighborhood acquaintance committed suicide some years back by hanging herself in a fashion similar to how we’re told Epstein took his own life: she wrapped some item of cloth around her neck and, on her knees, thrust herself from the clothes rod in her closet.

The big difference being, in addition to bouts of depression, she had a substance abuse problem…and was drunk as a lemur and passed out prior to dying.  Hence she was unable to pull herself off her knees before she choked to death, which would be the instinctive self-preservation response of a normal, non-inebriated human being.

As our youngest son Travis noted earlier this evening, though requiring little more pressure than biting through a carrot, humans of sound mind not in a do-or-die survival situation are physically incapable of using their teeth to severe their own finger, anymore than you can drown yourself by holding your breath at the bottom of the shallow end of a swimming pool…absent some weight…such as a cannonball…

…dragging you into some bottomless depth.  Fact is, when the air runs out, you’re going to reflexively surface.

One might as well try holding one’s breath until one suffocated.  Not to mention, how does falling forward from your feet or knees generate sufficient force to fracture the bone broken in Epstein’s neck?!?  Just sayin’.

Scotty had it right when he observed…

And Sulu’s been known to have run out of air on any number of occasions in the interim.

As Occam’s Razor suggests, all things being equal, the simplest explanation is most often the correct one…and neither this one…

…nor Epstein’s supposed suicide, add up.

Thought #2: Speaking of not willingly being fooled again, for those still under the false impression Google doesn’t deliberately skew your searches to favor Progressive politics, consider the results of a recent inquiry we made for a cartoon we saw featuring “Bill Clinton as Epstein’s jail guard”: here’s Google

…and here’s Bing:

Try it yourself.  FYI, the results are even more one-sided if you search for anything negative about The Obamao.

Thought #3: Speaking Monday morning with Bill Meisen, we offered an observation regarding the insanity which is Progressivism’s ongoing worship of the religion of anthropogenic global warming.  Bill mentioned an apt comparison he once cited when his son, a lukewarm adherent of this junk science given his submersion via public schools, questioned him about his refusal to give credence to the theory of human-created climate change:

“If you were a member of a church which ostensibly preached the virtues of the Ten Commandments, yet whose pastoral staff and deacons all engaged in adultery, drugs, drunkenness and debauchery of every variety, how long would continue to attend?”

“Not long, Dad.”

“Precisely”, Bill replied. “Neither should you give shrift to those who show up for an anthropogenic global warming summit via mega-yacht or private jet…let alone those who spend millions of dollars to purchase beachfront property far beyond the lifetime earnings of John Q. Working-Class-Citizen…when the world’s supposed to end in less than 12 years if the rest of us don’t change our carbon-centric ways.”

Then again…maybe they figure they can’t take it with them…at least not where they’re

…headed!

Thought #4: While working out earlier this afternoon we were struck by a scene from The Savage Curtain, an episode of the original Star Trek in which the reincarnation of Abraham Lincoln addresses Lieutenant Uhura in what was, at least as of Stardate 5907.5, a harmless phrase:

Thus have contemporary Progressives ceded ground in their quest for the equality of the individual with their preoccupation with words; which, at least based on the schooling of our youth, we were taught could never hurt us.

Next up, writing at the New York Post, Michael Goodwin records how…

Bias has killed the ‘Gray Lady’ — and Dean Baquet fired the fatal shot

 

“…The Aug. 12 meeting was held after an uproar over a headline deemed too friendly to Trump. “Trump Urges Unity vs Racism” didn’t convey a sufficient dose of Trump hatred, so Baquet had it rewritten to criticize the president’s sober remarks after the mass shootings in El Paso and Dayton.

Even that wasn’t enough to sate the monster he created, so Baquet assembled the newsroom to hear the grievances and explain his thinking.

Though none of those asking questions are identified, they are indistinguishable in wanting the paper to regularly call Trump a racist and a liar. These are supposedly straight news reporters and editors, yet are unrestrained in demanding that their partisan opinions dictate coverage.

One staffer asks Baquet, “Could you explain your decision not to more regularly use the word racist in reference to the president’s actions?”

Another wonders, “You mentioned that there could be situations when we would use the word racist. What is that standard?”

A third sees “racism and white supremacy being sort of the foundation of this country” and wants those topics front and center(When did Beto, Kamala and Buttgag start reporting for The Times?!?) “I just feel like racism is in everything. It should be considered in our science reporting, in our culture reporting, in our national reporting.”

Sometimes Baquet gently disagreesup to a point. He says the best way to make the case is by showing instead of telling and cites examples from the 1960s, as if they are relevant. Another asks, “What is the overall strategy here for getting us through this administration?”

Not once does he express any doubt that Trump is guilty as charged, or say that reporters should not be expressing partisan opinions. He’s only quibbling over how to present the agreed-upon conclusions.

Indeed, there is zero evidence in the transcript that anyone in the room objects. Even allowing that some might have doubts about an entire news organization speaking with one scripted voice, the silence shows nobody felt secure enough to say so. No safe spaces for dissenters there.

The failure of anyone to recognize that the approach violates the paper’s historic standards of fairness and the strict separation of news from opinion speaks volumes about how low the Times has sunk.

If there is a silver lining, it is that the public has been warned. Readers who want straight facts and fair play won’t find it in the Times. All they will get is a biased agenda and a guaranteed conclusion.

Which is all most Times readers have ever really wanted!

And in the Sports Section, FOX News presents yet another story hardly worth even a paragraph in the newspaper of record:

Florida Gators student band director attacked after game against Miami Hurricanes

 

“The Florida Gators’ student band director was attacked Saturday night as the group was getting back onto the bus after its football team’s 24-20 win over the Miami Hurricanes, a school official said.

As the band was boarding the bus, a female Hurricanes fan attempted to cut through the bandBand director Jay Watkins attempted to stop the person (now not a “female“, but a “person“!) and moments later someone put him in a chokehold from behind and threw him on the ground. 

Watkins suffered some scrapes but ultimately made it back on the bus. (Wow: THAT was a real nail-biter!!!) Watkins isn’t pressing charges but wanted a report filedPolice said there was no description given of the person who had attacked Watkins.

No other band members were injured in the incident. (How do YOU spell “relief”?!?)

According to Warchant, Florida State’s student band director Patrick Dunnigan wrote in a Facebook post that Watkins is a longtime friend of his and called for more security for band members going forward.

College football fans everywhere should demand that their universities provide ample security for the band. This is an insult to the spirit of college football,” Dunnigan wrote.

To which we can only respond, it ain’t…and they won’t.  Hells bells, you were playing at Thug U; WTF did you expect?!

Which brings us, appropriately enough, to The Lighter Side:

Then there’s this string of memes forwarded by Ed Hickey…

…as well as these three timely cartoons on the occasion of reports the footage from the surveillance camera outside Jeffrey Epstein’s cell is “unusable“.

Finally, we’ll call it a day with yet another sordid story straight from the pages of The Crime Blotter, and this just in from the Land of Fruits & Nuts:

Man in coma after dispute over towel sparks massive brawl at California water park

 

One person is in a medically induced coma Monday after a large brawl broke out at Raging Waters in Sacramento, according to police. The melee, involving about 40 people, started as a dispute between between two families over a beach towel…”

Reports California authorities are blaming the brawl not on the participants, but rather on the name of the water park, remain unconfirmed.

Abe Pollin!

Magoo



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