It’s Wednesday, May 29th, 2019…but before we begin, as you might have heard, Jerry Nadler recently suffered a “medical episode” during an appearance with Bill deBlowmeo:

We know it’s wrong, but we find it difficult to wish this bloated, bloviated bag of bile anything but the worst.  Besides, when this is what you look like AFTER you diet…

…not only are you a heart attack waiting to happen, but describing you as a…

…is being kind, a concept with which the vituperative, evil Mr. Nadler is wholly unfamiliar.

Speaking of bloviating bags of bile, if you’ve ever wondered how America’s moral decline has happened so quickly, and without anyone seeming to notice, compare this seemingly innocuous but deliberately deceptive diminishment by Dewey (aka, “DWE“, aka “Dick With Ears“):

Yeah, sure: he believes in God…like we believe in the Easter Bunny.  It’s just not that important to reaffirm “In God We Trust” as our nation’s motto…a phrase which recognizes the same Creator who endowed all men with certain unalienable Rights as the source of our freedom and the bedrock upon which the Founding Fathers built our Republic.  But, you know, he believes in God!

Fast forward to less than eight years later, and voilà: God is not only unimportant, He’s no longer welcome, at least in Progressive circles:

And note: the bloated, bloviating bag of bile at the heart of the deliberate Dimocratic efforts to hasten the nation’s moral decline: Jerry Nadler.  So here’s wishing Nadler a speedy recovery…but only to a point which precludes him from ever again assuming any position of power.

Now, here’s The Gouge!

First up, we recognize the passing of one of the most undeservedly maligned athletes in the history of professional sports:

As Mookie Wilson accurately observed:

“We had developed a friendship that lasted well over 30 years,” Wilson said in a statement. “I felt badly for some of the things he went through. Bill was a great, great baseball player whose legacy should not be defined by one play.“

To which we can only add a hearty “AMEN”!  RIP, Billy B.; if there’s baseball in Heaven, we know you’re already in the game.

Turning from Heaven to Hell, despite Chicago’s new Black female lesbian Dimocratic mayor promising her election would usher in an era of change, as this FOX News report relates, it’s still business-as-usual in the Murder Capital of the United States, as…

More than 34 shot – 5 fatally – during Memorial Day weekend in Chicago

And that was just through Sunday.  We don’t know how you spent your the first two-thirds of your Memorial Day weekend, but here’s how a number of Chicagoans spent theirs: 

“The violence began Friday when a 15-year-old boy and a 27-year-old were shot while walking down the street in South Sawyer.

…At least nine more were shot late Friday night, the report said. The victims ranged from 17 to 45.

The first fatality occurred around 6:30 p.m. on Saturday, when a gunman opened fire on a 29-year-old man standing on a porch…No suspects are in custody.

Around 10 p.m., two men were hit with bullets from a passing vehicle. Both were taken to a hospital but only one survived. A few hours later, police were responding to a disturbance where a man was shot while standing on a sidewalk.

Police said two men and two women between the ages of 25 and 31 were shot around 6 a.m. Sunday morning. (For some reason we doubt they were getting up early for church.) The four victims were taken to a hospital where both men died and the women’s condition stabilized. Police have recovered weapons and a suspect is in custody, NBC Chicago reported.

By Sunday evening, the number of victims shot stood at 34, including the five who died, according to police.“

A relatively modest increase on Monday brought the total toll to 41 shot, 7 fatally.

Forget about just the last Monday in May; in Chi-Town…

…almost every day is Memorial Day.  And anyone seeking to blame the senseless slaughter on guns rather than the cultural cancer eating at this city’s heart is either looking to politically profit from the continued carnage or a liar…or most probably both. 

Next, as Jim Freeman wonders at Best of the Web…

Did Democrats Just Create a Problem with Soccer Moms and Dads?

A Friday House vote could be the sleeper issue of 2020.

“Every Democrat in the House chamber on Friday voted for the appealingly titled “Equality Act.” But next year Democrats are likely to find that support for the bill among swing voters is far from unanimous.

…The legislation appears to expand government power in a number of significant ways. Today Brad Polumbo writes in USA Today:

The bill purports to protect LGBT Americans like me by prohibiting discrimination…On the surface, this sounds unobjectionable — after all, no one deserves to face discrimination. Yet the bill defined “public accommodations” so loosely and called for regulations so sweeping that it would crush religious freedom and radically reshape American society.

For example, the Equality Act undermines the 1993 Religious Freedom Restoration Act, which established a balancing test for religious freedom claims. It established a process for the litigation of discrimination grievances, where religious employers could appeal if found responsible for an offense and their actions could be fairly evaluated.

This helped ensure that reasonable invocations of religious freedom are permitted, such as a private, Catholic school only wanting to hire teachers who live in accordance with biblical values, but blatant discrimination, such as a grocery store randomly firing someone for being gay, is not. Yet in any of these situations, the so-called Equality Act would mandate that an LGBT person’s claim wins by default — therefore not ensuring equality but elevating their rights over those of religious Americans.

…Libertarians and social conservatives aren’t the only ones expressing reservations. Duke law professor and former track athlete Doriane Coleman, tennis legend Martina Navratilova and four-time Olympic gold medalist Sanya Richards-Ross wrote about the bill last month in the Washington Post.

…The authors…explained the implications of allowing people born male to compete against females:

Team USA sprinter Allyson Felix has the most World Championship medals in history, male or female, and is tied with Usain Bolt for the most World Championship golds. Her lifetime best in the 400 meters is 49.26 seconds. In 2018 alone, 275 high school boys ran faster on 783 occasions. The sex differential is even more pronounced in sports and events involving jumping. Team USA’s Vashti Cunningham has the American record for high school girls in the high jump at 6 feet, 4½ inches. Last year just in California, 50 high school boys jumped higher. The sex differential isn’t the result of boys and men having a male gender identity, more resources, better training or superior discipline. It’s because they have androgenized bodies.

The bill is going nowhere while Republicans control the Senate and the White House. But based on the unanimous support among House Democrats, voters can reasonably expect such legislation to become law in the event of a Democratic sweep in 2020.

Progressive politicians may be surprised to learn that imposing on girls and women a radical change in the rules of sport will not be universally welcomed by competitors or by the parents who love to watch them play.“

Nor will every Soccer Parent, regardless of professed political persuasion, praise Progressives presenting perverts permission to perpetually “penetrate” their daughter’s locker room.

In a related bit of political-correctness run utterly amok, we challenge you to even begin to follow the illogic set forth by one Greta LaFleur, as detailed in this commentary by NRO‘s Kat Timpf:

Yale Professor: Gay White Men Are Actually Symbols of Heterosexuality

It is literally a photo of a gay married couple.

“An assistant professor in women’s gender and sexuality studies at Yale University is claiming that Pete Buttigieg and his husband Chasten are a “vision of heterosexuality without straight people.” The professor, Greta LaFleur, made the comments in a piece analyzing Buttigieg and his husband’s appearance on the recent Time magazine cover.

At the beginning of the piece, she concocts an almost incomprehensible buzzword salad about “whiteness” and how “white” the photo is. For example:

This photo also tells a profound story about whiteness, above and beyond the fact that almost everything in this photo is, itself, white. It’s such an all-consuming aesthetic, here, that it practically resists interpretation; like the generically familiar (to me, a white person) porch, the cover photo claims that there’s nothing to see, because we already know what it is. We have seen this image, we know this couple, “we” should be comfortable.

Then, she immediately transitions into suggesting that the apparent comfortability that the “whiteness” of the photo provides basically makes it a heterosexual photo: “The argument I am making, of course, is that this photo is about a lot of things, but one of its defining features is its heterosexuality,” LaFleur writes. “It’s offering us the promise that our first gay first family might actually be a straight one.”

La Fleur, who herself identifies as “queer,”…

…goes on to explain how “the awkwardly minimal touching” between Buttigieg and his husband apparently “invokes the most uncomfortable, unfamiliar, culturally heterosexual embrace any of us have ever received,” claiming that it actually “offers a vision of heterosexuality without straight people.”

She ends her diatribe by taking some time to note that white male Buttigieg seems to have gotten more and better press coverage than female candidates such as Kamala Harris and Elizabeth Warren: “And perhaps this is heterosexuality at its immaterial and strategic best, a heterosexuality that could take back the Presidency for the Democrats: white, centrist, and without women,” she concludes.

Honestly, I think that her piece may just be the most insane, stupid thing that I have ever seen on the Internet — and, if you’ve spent even five minutes on the Internet, you know that that’s saying something. The truth is, this photo actually does not represent “heterosexuality at its immaterial and strategic best,” because it does not represent heterosexuality. It is literally a photo of a gay married couple. Do you know what makes them a gay married couple, even though they’re white? The fact that they are a gay married couple…”

Ponder that…then remember, without the federal government’s vast infusion of funding for higher education in general, and student loans in particular, people like Greta LaFleur would not hold teaching positions…anywhere…let alone at a once-prestigious institution like Yale.

Which brings us, appropriately enough, to The Lighter Side:

Then there’s this depiction from Balls Cotton of what we’d all love to see, but know will never happen…

…because his skin color puts him above the law, along with three others from Mark Foster (in what could well be Trump’s mantra as President)…

…Jim Crilley…

…and this classic from Shannon:

And before we forget, Theresa…

…don’t let the door hit you in your useless backside on your way out.  The shame is you didn’t resign years ago.

Finally, we’ll call it day with yet another titillating tale torn from the pages of The Crime Blotter, courtesy of FOX News, George Lawlor and an early favorite for the Darwin Awards:

Man allegedly hiding drugs in backside accidentally shoots himself in testicles

“…Cameron Jeffrey Wilson, 27, was carrying a pistol in his front pocket while in his Cashmere, Wash., apartment on April 5 when the firearm accidentally discharged and pierced his groin and thigh, according to the Wenatchee World News.

Wilson, who is a 13-time convicted felon, told his girlfriend to dispose of the weapon before heading to the hospital, the paper said.

When the ex-con finally went to the hospital, a balloon of marijuana slipped out of his anus while a doctor was operating on the gunshot wound, court records show. Cops also arrived at the hospital when alerted of the gunshot wound and searched Wilson’s car where they discovered a bag of meth in the blood-stained jeans he was wearing when he shot himself.

The officers issued an arrest warrant for Wilson and he turned himself in to police on April 18. As he was being processed at the Chelan County Regional Justice Center, Wilson was strip-searched and another balloon of marijuana slipped from his anus, the paper said.

While in jail, Wilson made a number of calls to his girlfriend and asked her not to cooperate with investigators working on his case. Authorities were listening in on the calls.

The convicted felon was charged with possession of a firearm, unlawful possession of meth, possession of a controlled substance in a correctional facility, and four counts of tampering with a witness…”

Only 27 and already a 13-time…make that 14-time felon; anyone wanna bet he’s out before his 33rd birthday?

On a side note, we thought our brother winging himself in the schwantz and calf while pulling a cocked and locked Model 1911 .45 from the front of his pants took the cake.  But he didn’t hold a candle to the bumbling, butt-busting Cameron Jeffrey Wilson…primarily because after suffering his self-inflicted wound, he finished his 8-hour shift before seeking medical attention.  And, perhaps more importantly, was NOT found to be concealing controlled substances in his kiester…twice!

Just sayin’.

Magoo